Hip to Be Square

Seriously, is everyone playing a joke on me today?

  • At Cosi, I was standing in line next a woman wearing all of the following, at the same time: tapered pants, a big checked blazer with shoulder pads, teased-out 80s bangs and teased-out 80s hair to go with it, tons of navy eyeliner and frosted seashell pink and pearly blue metallic shadow ever so artfully applied to the contours of her eyelids and all the way up to the eyebrow and OUT. WTF?
  • At New Wave, we sat across from a big, burly, Italian-looking surly dude and his gf–and the big, burly, Italian-looking surly dude’s glitter- and puff-painted sparkly long-sleeve tee, very similar to the ones that my mom and I used to make in Girl Scouts–when I was 6. SERIOUSLY, WTF?
  • Then outside of New Wave I saw a homeless dude riding a bicycle, wearing an Eagles jersey and a Viking helmet. But that’s actually not that weird, I see him riding around South Street all the time. I mean, a Viking helmet isn’t that strange, I have friends who wore them to parties in college. Sup Hanseltov! Holleratchagirl.
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