The Rules, Weissy Edition

Never date anyone…

• who is prettier than you
• wears more hair product than you
• orders girlier drinks than you

Old City and Rittenhouse Square, are you listening?

No decent bar or club will…

• make you wait in a line to get in
• make you pay cover (exceptions: Fluid, Making Time, most gay bars)
• not have enough seating for you to rest your stiletto-aching feet/pass out on your friend’s shoulder

Also, any DJ that can spin a decent mash-up immediately gets bonus points.

I’ve been thinking some of suicide, but there’s bars out here for miles

If you are heartbroken and want to wallow in misery…

then listen to Ryan Adams.

If you really want to twist the knife…

     then listen to Damien Rice.