Hip to Be Square

Seriously, is everyone playing a joke on me today?

• At Cosi, I was standing in line next a woman wearing all of the following, at the same time: tapered pants, a big checked blazer with shoulder pads, teased-out 80s bangs and teased-out 80s hair to go with it, tons of navy eyeliner and frosted seashell pink and pearly blue metallic shadow ever so artfully applied to the contours of her eyelids and all the way up to the eyebrow and OUT. WTF?
• At New Wave, we sat across from a big, burly, Italian-looking surly dude and his gf–and the big, burly, Italian-looking surly dude’s glitter- and puff-painted sparkly long-sleeve tee, very similar to the ones that my mom and I used to make in Girl Scouts–when I was 6. SERIOUSLY, WTF?
• Then outside of New Wave I saw a homeless dude riding a bicycle, wearing an Eagles jersey and a Viking helmet. But that’s actually not that weird, I see him riding around South Street all the time. I mean, a Viking helmet isn’t that strange, I have friends who wore them to parties in college. Sup Hanseltov! Holleratchagirl.

Things Whose Appeal I Never Understood #1: Fergie, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”

It’s not THAT catchy.  Certainly less catchy than “London Bridge” or “Fergilicious” albeit less obnoxious.  Is it because we want Fergie to stop spelling words in her faux-hop songs?  Are we trying to send a message to Fergie Ferg that she should stop making said faux-hop music and instead focus on adult contemporary lite pop?  If so, can we not lower our standards of quality here?  This is kind of like when you have a really obnoxious hellion of a student in class, and you’re trying to get him/her to behave well, so the first time s/he does something remotely thoughtful you give him/her a whopping huge incentive.  Dammit Fergie, just because it’s pop doesn’t mean it has to be bland.